Elementary Teacher-Parent Communication: Parent Teacher Conferences

Parent conferences- The main purpose of any parent-teacher conference is to facilitate the child's educational growth. Typically, a teacher and parents meet occasionally to share information about the child’s progress. If the child has a disability, however, more frequent meetings are essential for the child’s welfare. Conferences held before or early on in the school year can reduce the need for later problem-solving conferences. The first conference of the school year also allows the teacher to receive information from parents and to get acquainted in a nonthreatening situation.

Cumulative records- A cumulative record folder is available to teachers on every child who has been in school. It contains a great deal of information (REMEMBER that parents may or may not know all of the information in the file, do not assume that they do or that they remember everything they have been informed of). In order to prepare for the initial conference most teachers want to review the available information about the child and family. Although, some teachers prefer not to read a student’s record prior to meeting them because they fear the information will cause them to create a bias. This is unfortunate because the earlier a problem is identified for a student; the better the chances are that the problem can be addressed in a successful manner. It is also beneficial to know what is in student’s schools records because parents have a legal right to know what is in their child’s records, and you will be better prepared to answer any questions that might come up in conferences in reference to a child’s school record. Teachers should be well informed in at least these four areas about each student: the child’s social, academic, intellectual, and physical growth and development. Students' cumulative records will also contain information about their academic achievement. Through analyzing students previous assessment marks you are better equipped to answer questions for the parents that they may have, but, through this same analysis there may be questions that will arise such as "Why did this student read at grade level every school year except last year?"

Social History- A teacher should find out as much as possible about each students family. It is beneficial to be knowledgeable of each students living situation; for instance, does the student live with both parents, do both parents work, does the student live with other family members, etc. This type of information will help to arrange conferences so the parents can attend. Students' cumulative school records may also contain information about students’ social history; are they interested in sports? Are they involved in any clubs? Have they had problems with certain students in the past? At this point, the teacher is trying to understand each student; the teacher should not be trying to draw conclusions as to why a student may be acting the way they are. The teacher is also trying to find out how to best conduct the forthcoming conference.

Regularly Scheduled Conferences:

This is the "bread and butter" of parent-teacher interactions. While not all parents become involved with parent -teacher conferences, it is required by state and federal law to have them written into local school policy. Because conferencing is not generally required as a part of teacher education programs, teachers may have to work on it after they are on the job. Videotaping oneself and reviewing the tape can be helpful. More recently, student-led conferences in which the student takes the responsibility for sharing with the parents and teacher the goals and objectives of the program are more common. Students are present to help set goals and give feedback. This represents a change in attitude over the last 20 years. If the student does not attend the conference, sharing major points of discussion with the child later is a good idea. Here is a link to a PowerPoint presentation regarding student-led conferences: Student Led Conferences, and here is an article about how to involve students in conferences: Involving Students in Parent-Teacher Conferences. Remember that 98 percent of conferences go smoothly and are rather enjoyable when the teacher is well prepared (p.118 how to handle difficult parents)!

Student led conference

Pre-Conference: First, the teacher should prepare some type of notification to be sent home. Some schools may provide a standard form letter; however, the teacher usually has the responsibility for sending the letter and making the follow-up appointment. Here is a reminder form: Conference Reminder Form. You could also send home tips for parents to help them prepare for the meeting. Here is a form that is available in English AND Spanish: English and Spanish Parent Preparation Conference Form, and another: Teacher to Parent Questionnaire and Conference Reminder, and one more: Parental Concern Checklist for Conferences. Some teachers also send home a form prompting questions from the parents which should be returned prior to the conference in order for the teacher to research and be able to answer their questions. Here is a parent questionnaire: Pre-Conference Parent Questionnaire. Some teachers also include the students in this process by giving them a graphic organizer based on their grade level about how they feel they are doing in school and any questions, comments, or concerns they may have. Here is a student questionnaire: Student Self Report Card, and another: Student Self Report Card 2. Here is another student self assessment form for the upper elementary grades: Upper Elementary Self Report Card.

The following are some suggestions to do before the actual conference.

Prepare: Review child's folder, gather examples of work, gather test results, prepare materials, you might want to have a timer set on silent on your body to alarm you of the end time of the conference so you aren't constantly looking at the clock, dress professionally, you will want to have a basket of toys and coloring books with crayons for children to play with if parents have to bring their children (plan for younger and older siblings!).
Plan agenda
Arrange environment: Have comfortable seating, eliminate distractions. Some parents will be intimidated or annoyed if you sit behind your desk while they sit like students in front of you. Therefore, you may want to meet with them at a table to show them that you are all on the same side.

The bad and the good! Conduct conferences in a warm, safe, and comfortable environment.

A classroom set-up for conferences: student folders, handouts, sign-in sheet, student examples of work, and an organized and warm environment.

Another classroom set-up for conferences: treats for parents, tissues, student work ready to show parents, seating next to each other, and again...a warm, organized, and welcoming environment.

Conference: Teachers must establish rapport with parents in a short 15 minute conference. This is not easy to do! It may help to meet the parents at the classroom door (if you are having the conferences in the classroom) and shake hands. Provide positive anecdotes or mention something special about the student to break the ice. Establish guidelines with the parents (or which ever guardian is present) at the beginning of the conference, such as how much time you will have together. It is up to you whether or not you will take notes during the conference. Note-taking was already covered earlier, but it can be controversial. Some people think it detracts from the conference, but many professionals take notes as they work (doctors, lawyers. etc.) to record and remember the important points. If you do plan on taking notes it may be beneficial to explain to parents before the conference why you are taking notes and who they will be shared with. Here is a conference record form if you do choose to take notes: Conference Record Form. Some teachers prefer to tape record their conferences, but this technique can take hours to sift through to find the key information they need; also, many people are uncomfortable being tape recorded and will not behave naturally or ask questions they really would like to ask.Remember to LISTEN to the parents; this includes watching their body language and eye movements. It may be beneficial to summarize the meeting at the end to ensure you are all on the same page. In this way, the teacher is conducting a validity check of what transpired. Also, another conference may be scheduled at this time. The following are some suggestions to follow for the conference.

Welcome: establish rapport
State: Purpose, time limitations, note taking, options for follow-up
Encourage: Information sharing, comments, questions, show examples of student progress (work from the beginning of the year and current work). Here is a 'Glow and Grow' form to inform parents of where their child excels and where they are still growing: Glow and Grow Form.
Listen: Pause once in awhile! Look for both verbal and non-verbal cues, questions
Summarize (End on a positive note!).


Bottles of water as a thank you to parents for attending conferences

Another idea for a thank you to parents, a bag of popcorn with a 'Thanks for popping in!' sign.

Post-Conference:

Review conference
Share information with other school personnel, if needed
Mark calendar for planned follow-up
Share major points of discussion with student
Send a kind reminder to the parents about what was discussed at the conference and what the next step is. Here is a link to a post-conference form: Post Conference Form. Here is a more formal form: Formal Post Conference Form.

Dealing with Aggression:

Occasionally, parents may become hostile or aggressive (this would fall under the 2 percent of conferences that do not go so well!) (p.118). Despite thorough teacher training, nothing really prepares teachers for working with some of today’s parents. Teachers need to learn parent management skills as much as they need to learn classroom management skills! Without such skills, an adversarial relationship between a teacher and a parent can take its toll. Today, when a student has a problem in school, there’s a much greater chance that the parents will not accept the consequences of their child’s behavior without argument (p.15). Just as good teachers must develop skills to work with all kinds of students, they must also develop skills to work with all kinds of parents (p.25).

The aggressive/upset parent

Some tips for dealing with an aggressive parent:

DO...

listen
let them vent, they won't listen to you until they have vented
write down what they say
when they slow down, ask what else is bothering them
exhaust the persons list of complaints
ask them to clarify any specific complaints that are too general
show the person your list and ask if it is complete
ask the person for suggestions for solving any of the problems listed
write down the suggestions
as much as possible, mirror the persons body posture
as the person peaks louder, you should speak softer
keep cool, don't lose your temper
be prepared to end the conference if the parent becomes too aggressive or personally insulting
agree, and then make your point: "You may have a point. Now I would like for you to hear my point too, and together we will come up with a solution that works for your child."
apologize: "I am so sorry that this is so upsetting. I have an idea about how it can be worked out. Why don't we sit down and brainstorm a list of ideas?"
acknowledge their knowledge: "Mr. Smith, you sure know a lot. I am so glad you're here today. We can combine our knowledge and skills and come up with a plan."

DON'T...

argue
defend or become defensive
promise things you can't produce
own problems that belong to others
raise your voice
use sarcasm
belittle or minimize the problem
allow a parent to comment on or discuss another student other than their own child
take parent criticism personally