Understanding the Child and Family (Creating Relationships with Parents)

New definition of parent involvement:
The new definition of parent involvement does not require parents to come to the school.  Services and activities can take place in neighborhood settings and at home.  Reach out to include families who lack English language proficiency, self-confidence, or the energy or time to take part in traditional parent involvement activities, as well as those who fear schools because of cultural norms or negative school experiences.  Focus on families instead of on the agendas of teachers and administrators.  This can be extended beyond purely academic functions to all contribution of families to their children’s education.  Focus on and emphasize family strengths rather than their deficits.
Getting parents involved with their child’s education to the extent they have the time, strength, energy, and skill.  Teachers who look at strengths as well as needs, who understand how families work or sometimes don’t work, and who listen and check perceptions will broaden their skills in involving parents.  Overall, parents want teachers who know and care for their child; when parents feel their child is known and cared for they will feel more at ease about being involved.

  

     Video on empowering parents to get involved- 

 

Family Dynamics:

      Understanding the dynamics within a family and knowing the dynamics of a community help the teacher to develop a more appropriate and integrated program for all families.  Knowing families and their backgrounds increases the probability of the teacher being successful in parent involvement programs.  Here is a form to send home at the beginning of the school year for parents to fill out about their child: Getting to Know Your Child, here is another form for parents to fill out about their child: Clue Me In Form.  And here is a form for students to fill out about themselves (upper elementary grades): Student Profile Sheet.  We may want to empathize with families of students with disabilities and imply that we know how they feel; but, unless you also have a child with a disability you cannot have the same feelings.  Teachers should also treat a married couple heterogeneously; parents attitudes can differ on the same situation based on their own background knowledge and experiences (i.e. one parent may have a sibling with down syndrome and view the diagnosis of their child’s down syndrome with a very different lens than the parent who has not experiences down syndrome in their family)…do not treat parents homogenously!  When parents experience either the loss of a child or the loss of a ‘normal’ child when they are diagnosed with a disability a teacher must be knowledgeable of the psychological toll this loss can take on a family (understand the psychological stages of mourning- denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance/coping).  Parents can also fall into chronic sorrow, where years later they are still angry and their child is a living reminder of the disability, the challenges they face, and the ‘normal’ child and the dreams and hopes they had for them that they feel are now lost.

Video on how to form relationships with students' families-

Perceptions and diversity of values:

      Whether right or wrong our perceptions of others are formed in a heartbeat.  Unfortunately, how we feel toward someone often is based on wrong perceptions.  At first the wrong body language can turn us on or off a person.  The reality is we really don’t know that person.  Parents gather bits and pieces of information about teachers and schools based on what their child tells them, incidents at school (a tear stained face, torn jeans, a paper with a star…).  Teachers also gather bits and pieces of information from home and they form opinions of the family.  Often, neither parents nor the teachers are correct in their perceptions of the school or the family.  The messages that children bring to school are no more complete than the messages they take home. (Could use home depot/stripping job as an example). 

ID yourself/unpack your knapsack:
Before the school year begins send parents a letter of introduction (this will also be included in the classroom handbook).  The letter should tell parents a little about yourself including your goals for the school year.  It can also be a way to get parents involved (sample letter of introduction p.12 how to handle hard to handle parents).  Here is a link to a letter of introduction template: Welcome Letter.
“If I don’t know who I am and where I'm coming from, how can I help others discover this about themselves?" (Teachers should self-analyze through a self- Conception…).  Teachers must understand their own value systems and try to understand the value systems of others.  Teachers probably deal with a wider range of differences than most adults do.  Children come into the classroom from homes with different religions, different socioeconomic levels, various cultural differences, and different parental views on the importance of education.

If you are a Caucasian teacher, this article may be useful for you to self-assess: White Privilege Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack.
And here is a website dedicated to self-analyis: Riley Guide to Self-Assessment.